luvelle

... is something I'm good at. Girls swear by their intuition because they're always right. She's in denial, in my honest opinion. But I don't know how to convince her with the truth, because I'm afraid that she'll hurt herself. She's hurting and I really want to go over to let her cry on my shoulders and tell her that I do understand what she's going through now. Seeing her getting hurt by someone she loves brings out so many emotions in me.

If I could turn back the clock to 10 years back, I might not try to live my life differently. Instead, I'd be more tempted to live as freely as I did; no restraint, my own rules. Revive all the emotions, all the highs and lows, the crazy rollercoaster rides, because that is how I like to live my life. Maybe that's why I'm already feeling a little spent; no more tears to cry (but it seems like I can fake them pretty well), too tired for very much else. I have passion, but I don't know how to express them, or maybe I'm too lazy to do so. I mean when you express your passion, you'll have to deal with people's criticisms, or even their praises especially when you don't care for their opinions. Just... too much...

Or maybe it's my physical tiredness making me delusional. I feel warm. Need antibiotics. Seems like a monthly affair for me now...

Is fatigue a symptom of PMS? I keep getting bad headaches and I get so lethargic all the time. And if I don't sleep, I get flu-like symptoms and a bad cough. Trying not to take antibiotics because I know how dependent my body will be on them. Crampy stomach, but at least the bloat is not that bad now.

I hate this year's CNY. I'm really not in the mood. Maybe it's because there's a deadline next Friday. After that probably have to start on my GRP and also start studying my courses. Grr.

On a side note, I get extremely amused when people tell me ridiculous things. One comes to mind now after having just watched 15, the Royston Tan movie, damn, is he a talent. It's the second time I've watched it and it still haunts me deeply. Now I know the issues my ex-bf faced back in those days. Heard he got someone pregnant and had to marry her. I've always imagined that he'd end up working as a construction worker or something. As some of you know, 15 is about gangsters and drugs related to 15-year-old ah bengs. Someone once told me this about her son, "I know my kid. He's not an addict. I'm a modern mum. I know all kids these days have taken drugs before when they go clubbing." To that, I exclaimed out of shock and amazement, "Auntie! I've never taken drugs before! My friends DO NOT take drugs either! It's not a common thing in Singapore!"

Don't put the blame on society or others when you don't know how to control and discipline your kid. Lazy then admit you're lazy. Don't bother then say you don't bother la. Your kid get into trouble whose fault? Your fault la. Come on, duuude. Not anyone else's fault. Duuhhh!

So yes, LuVeLLe is a good girl. A little bit boring though, but that's the price you pay for being nerdy and trying to get a 'bright' future, am I not right to say this? :P

Gah my mind is out of sorts. The weather is killing me, seriously. Burning my brains. Need to bathe, many many times. Horrible horrible eyebags.