luvelle

Is it really? If I were back in her shoes, how would I be? How does it feel to have your heart broken by a boy? Perhaps I don't remember now because my past doesn't bother me anymore; I have moved on. What I recall are my reactions to getting my hopes dashed by someone who made all sorts of silly promises to me that he didn't even remember; I just...felt like...dying. Same way she's hurting now.

Now I know how to numb myself. Not exactly the healthiest way though. But beyond the numbness, what comes after? Reality sets back in, and then pain...oh fuck, the fucking pain.

I heard her pain, her tears. It broke my heart. How can someone I've only known for such a short time affect me so much? I simply felt helpless. I was begging for her to hear me out, that he wasn't worth losing her soul over, how unfair it was for her to act upon her self-destructiveness just because of him and inflict pain on me, that I already have so few people that I trusted and gave my heart to, and that if she left then there was one less person in this world to love me. What else can I say?

I cannot sleep now, even though my head hurts very badly. I love her more than he does. Does it even mean anything to her? But I understand... how my love for her will never fill the void that he had created in her.