我所要的，你都不要。你最渴望的，并不是我想象中的。我现在什么都不要。只希望有一天能回到十年前无忧无虑的日子。即使便笨了也无所谓，就是不要再记得过去的悲伤。

Oh gawd I don't really know what I'm blabbering anymore. Writing in my mother tongue is so tough, and I really wished I was better versed in Mandarin.

I'm just confused. I need to sort out my shit before I start indulging in anyone. I haven't been able to receive, nor give properly, hence I haven't felt like anyone's girlfriend for the past 2 years. I did try though, acting like the jealous and possessive girlfriend, the easygoing girlfriend, the demanding girlfriend, the sweet and loving girlfriend... It's been a mess so far, at least for me, because I've never really given myself the chance to get over my past. One depressing event after another, and I'm the only person who can stop that vicious cycle.

虽然你仍在我身边，我觉得我已失去你。三天后，我们可能不会再见面了。我已经想念你的一切；你的笑容，你的味道，你的怀抱。现在不同了。你心里从来没有我。太可惜，因为若我们能从头开始，我们就不必浪费这么多时间逼自己爱上对方。心里好乱。

Life doesn't suck though... I'm the one who does.