urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:luvelle luvelle luvelle 2007-07-29T17:24:25Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:luvelle:136175 2007-07-29T17:24:25Z 2007-07-29T17:24:25Z Grr swollen tonsils. Lack of sleep always gives me that.<br /><br />So anyway I heard this really intimidating lesson in church today, in that it is possible that God's spirit will leave you if you're unwilling to repent and go back to your Christian ways. It's like how God's spirit left David when he stole a woman from her husband and had him killed in battlefield after David impregnated her. That was in the Old Testament btw. I had always thought that God's spirit never leaves us. I don't know, pretty confused with the lesson.<br /><br />This made me think about all the things that I knew were wrong but did anyway. I've been complacent in so many instances, taking for granted that my intelligence and wordly possessions were God-given. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't had so many blessings in this life, would I still be so self-centred and behave so selfishly? Perhaps I might have been more humbled, but then again, I might turn out to be this angry person who is mad at the world because life is unfair.<br /><br />From attending church services since I was born and being converted at the age of 14, I learnt that all my worldly blessings are meant to further God's word and expand his Kingdom. But well, being a terribly logical thinker, this doesn't make much sense to me. Feels like a roundabout thing: He made me smart -&gt; Smart people usually think logically -&gt; Most logical people cannot think beyond logic, i.e. hard to be made to think spiritually or emotionally... But then again, deep down inside, I still believe that my God exists and that I definitely have to change my ways in order to get into heaven.<br /><br />Guess my best excuses are always the same... No time, no space in my life for God. Best excuses for me to sin in every other way, which of course, I'm embarrassed to admit.<br /><br />Anyone has a take on this?