Yeay I'm registered for the Standard Chartered run! But I'm a loser that can only run 10km. Sigh, I decided that I'm still not ready for 42km. No time to train. Anyway this year's marathon will be held on 2 December, but my last exam paper is on 7 December. Guess I'll have to work extra hard for my studies and make sure that I still continue training. No time for slack!

I wonder how long I can keep this up. I remember during my HYP period I totally slacked in my workouts, and became fat. Until now still cannot lose that extra weight! HYP ruined my body. :( Oh and a boyfriend who treats you to good food ruins your body too. MING IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT I'M FAT LA!

Another new day at work. Going to make sure I at least get some stuff done today. :D

Listening to that song induces such strong feelings of nostalgia. Unfortunately for me, it's nostalgia that I don't wish to feel again because the bad memories make it too painful to recall. Despite everything happening within a short period of time, those memories still scar. Some things just remain in your memories despite your attempts to fight them from returning. My triggers are normally certain music/songs and smell. Ironically though, I'm very bad at memorising textbook stuffs. -.- I really wish I were better at that.

Meeting with Ben and others ended more than 1 hour ago. It's frustrating to know that no matter how many times you give instructions and how many times you explain stuff, some people still forget. Or maybe they chose to ignore the previous instances, until they see the urgency, i.e. Ben starts getting pissed. Of course, the burden falls back on me, because after all, I'm Ben's first and only graduate student. I'm not complaining about the workload I have, but rather, it's almost impossible to work with the people in my group. If instructions from me are not received properly by the others, then somehow it becomes my fault that I haven't given them out properly 'cos I failed to check up on them.

Maybe I took for granted that everyone was responsible and would do things according to what was requested by Ben, and if they had any questions, they would come ask me on their own initiative. Apparently these people need pushing and much nudging to even come ask me how things work, even after sending out more than one email with detailed instructions. There's a reason why I always always hate group projects. I work better alone, 100% of the time. No one to share the work/credit with. No need for time-wasting meetings. No one to ask me stupid questions because somehow they are dumber than I am and do not have the initiative to go find things out by themselves.

Anyway I read somewhere that most first-borns have higher IQs than their younger siblings. It's not due to some genetic factor, but their intelligence was really trained. Parents tend to put higher expectations on the first-borns, hence they tend to have more initiative and are more diligent. There is no one (or older sibling) to tutor them or guide them in their schoolwork, hence they tend to rely more on themselves to find their own answers to questions they cannot answer. They relearn their concepts by tutoring their younger siblings, who end up relying on their older sibling for answers.

This would immediately imply that the initiative to be smart makes you smarter. It doesn't matter if you're the younger sibling or the older one. You can always train yourself to be cleverer by looking for your own answers. In my dictionary, "cannot" does not exist. It's a matter of whether you're willing to do it or not, and how much effort you want to invest in it. What I'm saying here of course relates to what I wrote 2 paragraphs before.

Damn I'm craving for Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Grr... I AM supposed to lose weight. Right... Starve Mich, starve.

Just felt like disappearing the past few days. Not even on MSN.

Sprained my stupid foot on Wednesday. Until now it's still swollen. But I've got to be in school to meet Ben today, so don't be surprised if you see me limping around campus or wherever. :P It sucks like hell not to be able to walk at my normal speed. Grr. And it sucks even more not to be able to workout! Sheesh. But I don't care man. I still did my workout on my elliptical machine today. Still pain, but not as bad as it would've been if I had gone jogging. Hooray for elliptical machines!

I always do stupid things that make me unable to workout. Like the last time I tripped over some tree root and fell right smack in the middle of the MacRitchie trail while jogging. Thankfully no one was around to see me, but I had bruises and I bled all over my knees. I picked myself up and continued my usual 5km jogging route. After that I couldn't walk properly for a week. Ming knows that 'cos he was my crutch at the time. I even insisted on going out despite all the stupid bandages. Haha. I think I looked so pathetic that some old lady offered me her seat. So touching! But I told her she could have her seat back, and I stood for half of the journey, until some nice young gentleman noticed that I needed a seat and gave me his seat on the bus. Luckily I didn't hurt my face haha. That was around 1 year ago. I looked like this then:
( Me me and me!!! )
Weighty issues. Blah de blah. In school now. Waiting for daddy to fetch the lame old lady home.

Bleah! Cannot sleep! Insomnia again... And then I crash in the afternoons. Great. Hungry... But nooo. Starve Mich. Starve.

Was chatting with Hwee Xian earlier and we were talking about pay increases. Seems like fresh grads these days are getting quite a lot huh. About $3k or so. I was getting pretty sore, since I'm still a poor graduate student. Stipend doesn't pay a lot; everyone's getting twice as much as I am. But then... I just found out that from next month onwards, my stipend will increase by $500. How awesome is that?! The first digit of my pay will change. Hooray to the government, because apparently they want more Singaporean PhD grads now.

So my dear baby, I can now afford to spoil you more! Cheer up your stressful work life with more yummy food, more presents and more treats, ok? *hugs* Don't always so moody la. My heart hurts when I don't see you smile.

But people, don't now come asking for me to treat and shit la, can? I'm still a poor graduate student. Need some savings too, you know. Damn buay paiseh you guys. :P

Anyway Ben's finishing his reservist today, I think. Which means, no more slacking! Boohoo... Will get super busy and stressful again. Go school everyday and do work. End of vacation for me. Better make full use of the rest of this week to relax.

Will try sleeping again. :(

Today was so tiring. Fatigue or whatever. Didn't even workout yesterday and today! Arghh freaking out! So damn fat... Can feel my muscles disintegrating and fats growing. But anyway, met up with my loverboy at Far East 'cos he wants to buy a PSP to play while journeying to work everyday. Don't know why he don't wanna buy the pink colour one. :(

We then went for dinner. Sigh everytime meet him can only spend a few hours with him. Sucks to have no money and no time.

I'm trying to be funny. I've got one of him trying to be funny too, but don't know if he'll like it if I put it up haha. =P


Finally!


I seldom tie my hair like this. Ming says it's nice haha. Aww...

I still feel a little blue though. Probably need more sleep or a liposuction or something. Ming has gone to bed. I'm probably going to do a little work then sleep.

Ben wants me to take over the other 2 experiments on PlanetLab. Boo! More work for me! I'm quite sick and tired really. Wish I got a car though. Or at least more cash so that I can cab around. Bleah... Then I wouldn't always make excuses not to go back to school.